October 22, 2009
9:30pm
Tagal ko ding hindi nakapagsulat sa xanga and I miss it so much. Many things had happened to me tyhis past few days starting from monday till now thursday.
MY EXPERIENCE IN HOSPICIO DE SAN JOSE
as a caregiver of course it is much harder than being a nurse. I never felt this tired before. Not in my whole nursing life. Although negligence is much possible in nurses, caregiver has heavier duty. We were assigned to female geria which means we have to take care of the "LOLA's". I was assigned to Lola Aurora, former dean of PWU and also a nun. She was sick that i have to attend to her from time to time. I helped to bathe others too, mopped the floor, do bed makings. We were so tired. But it was a very wonderful day. I know i'm not readhy for any of this. I'm also not a kind of person who would really fit something like this but i learned a lot through my stay in Hospicio. In four days i learned many things especially from them (grandmothers). Although some of them are already demented, i met Lola Mary, who was in very sound mind. In her age 92, she still have intact mind and retains logical reasoning. She told me once "i love to talk to you students because you make me happy. And i can see that you are all good so i can also say that you're parents were god because they brought you up that way". She also told us "if you don't want to get old easily, be happy. There may come more disasters but after all, it may stop. the pain wlll end." She's a very cheerful oldie. And she has self actualization. Sometimes i think if i grow old i really wdanted to be as cool, self actualized, and happy as her.
MY SENTIMENTS WITH HONEY
Yes, we had fight. Because of her bitch bestfriend. One of his former groupmates told me about them. About that girl who always flirt with my boyfriend (and according to my source she also flirts other's boyfriend). She was my bf's bestfriend and they call each other "mahal" even before he courted me. But for her to tell other people that "she was the first one who got closed to yvan", hello! I was even there tho years before she entered his life. We even called each other "bhie" but we never been together because of some personal reasons until he came across my life again. About my consenting them to be so sweet. I don't remember that i said "i'm fine with it". Of course i'm not. Who would've want they're guy to be with other girl and entertain biatch? I know it's hard for yvan to understand why i'm so angry. I was hurt? not only did i looked so stupid not knowing anything about it all this time. And if he thinks that it's nothing then he's wong because even if it was that bitch who always comes close to him, he should not entertain, or he should tell her not to because he's committed. But he did. He let her. And he can't blame me if i can't trust him the way i am before. HE never felt his pain. He never seen me with any guys. He never knew ho much it hurts knowing that you seem to be not the only one. I nearly asked him for a break up. But i asked him for a cool off instead even for just a week. But he refused. He surprised me in my room with all petals scattered on my floor to my bed and a chocolate in the middle of it. He was hiding with 24 pieces of rose in a bouqet. He was crying and crying because he told me that he can't live without me. Fine, but he really had to prove me that he's worth of my forgiveness and my love.
MY DIET...
the most exciting part.
I'm still on with it.
my breakfast is only fit and right and nova, or skyflakes
lunch, 2 pieces saging na saba with any ulam like morhon... no rice at all
dinner, gatorade and ulam again without rice.
I had this diet since monday so no rice dieat for me but i eat grains from wheat bread and cereals...
